Secreto Ibérico LLC · Est. 2026 · Technology, charcuterie-adjacent

The secret cut of software.

We're a technology company named after the most underrated cut of the Ibérico pig. We build apps, games and streaming things: slow-cured, hand-sliced, served at room temperature.

See the menu hello@secretoiberi.co
⟶ swipe fast across the meat to slice it slices served: 0

§ 01: Who we are

We are a small, stubborn software company. We believe great software is like great jamón: it takes patience, honest ingredients, and someone who really knows how to hold a knife. We make the hidden cut. The part nobody talks about. The part that, frankly, is the best part.

0
products on the menu
0mo
traditional curing time (we're quicker)
0
pigs harmed. One got promoted.
∞
bellotas consumed by the team

§ 03: The curing process

How we make software, the traditional way

01

Montanera

/mon·ta·ne·ra/: free-range acorn season

Our pigs roam the dehesa eating acorns. Our engineers roam Figma eating snacks. Both are doing important research.

// discovery, design, prototypes
02

Salazón

/sa·la·zón/: the salting

We salt everything. Types, tests, edge cases. Especially the edge cases. Then we salt the edge cases of the edge cases.

// engineering, TypeScript, Swift, Kotlin
03

Secado

/se·ca·do/: the drying

We let it rest. Code review, staging, a long lunch, one more coffee. Good things can't be rushed, but they can be scheduled.

// review, QA, staging
04

Corte

/cor·te/: the cut

Sliced paper-thin, by hand, onto production. Translucent. Glistening. Deployed. Served at room temperature to happy users.

// launch, monitoring, iteration

§ 04: Read the label

Fully transparent ingredients

Nutrition Facts

Serving size 1 app

Servings per company several

Amount per serving

Calories 0

(it's software)

% Daily Value*

Total Fat marbled 100%

Saturated Fat 0g (it's acorn-fed) 0%

Bugs 0g** 0%

Technical debt trace 2%

Meetings 1 per week 4%

Coffee 840%

Uptime 99.9%

Ingredients: TypeScript, Swift, Kotlin, curiosity, olive oil, cloud servers (AWS), sea salt, stubbornness, and traces of PHP from 2009.

Contains: opinions. May contain: easter eggs.

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000-commit diet. ** Bugs found are reclassified as protein.

Denominación de Origen Protegida

Certificate of authenticity

Origin
The cloud, region us-east-1
Breed
100% Ibérico, full-stack
Feed
Bellotas, espresso, documentation
Curing time
2 sprints (traditional: 36 months)
Sliced by
A certified maestro cortador (git)
Grade
Pata negra

Signed, the Pig
Senior Staff Engineer & Quality Inspector

§ 05: La receta

Okay, fine. Cook the real thing.

Secreto ibérico a la plancha: the hidden cut, seared hard and sliced thin. A real recipe with a working kitchen timer. We are a tech company, after all.

2

Ingredients

Method

§ 06: For the engineers

Talk to the pig

A real(ish) shell. Type help. Try oink. Do not try rm -rf /.

pig@secreto: ~/bodega

§ 07: Preguntas frecuentes

Questions we get. A lot.

Is this a restaurant?

No. Please stop calling to book a table for six. (We would love to be, though. Call us if you're a restaurant that needs an app.)

Why is a tech company named after a pork cut?

Secreto is the hidden cut of the Ibérico pig, tucked behind the shoulder. It's small, beautifully marbled, often overlooked, and easily the best part. That's the energy we aim for. Also, the domain was available.

Can I order secreto ibérico from you?

You can order software. If you ask very nicely, we'll recommend a butcher. There's also a real recipe (with a working timer) a little further up the page.

Is the pig okay?

The pig is great. The pig is a Senior Staff Engineer now. Uses vim. Refuses to explain how to exit it.

I'm vegetarian. Is this site safe for me?

Completely. Everything we make is 100% plant-based silicon. The meat on this page is a GLSL shader: it's made of math.

Are you hiring?

Not right now. But we always like hearing from people with strong opinions about tabs versus spaces. hello@secretoiberi.co

§ 08: Mesa para uno

¿Hablamos?

Projects, partnerships, press, or just a good jamón recommendation.

hello@secretoiberi.co